Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
