I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize