so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
so let's talk penis.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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