we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
