somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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