She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
How's work?
Spinning.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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