Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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