from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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