Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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