I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
