so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
