Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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