Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
