no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
