You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
