it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize