he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
