guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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