Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
