That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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