I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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