Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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