i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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