yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
