More tranny stories later!
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
