this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
