drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
