she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
