Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
