Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
