My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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