What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
