the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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