Ambien. No doubt about it.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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