I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
