Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
