I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize
