mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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