I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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