hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
