your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
