You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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