i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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