im holly from the hills drunk
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Holy shit dude........stairs
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
