oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
