I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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