So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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