i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
