Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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