My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
