That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
