I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
