I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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