I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
