Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
