its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
and she was petting her beer can
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
