No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
