He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
