no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize