Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
