I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
