i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
