i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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