Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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