I met the friendliest cop last night
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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