Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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