i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
