so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
