shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
