i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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