bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
